Friday, November 7, 2008
I have worked harder the past few days then I have in a while. I finally got the message, "Put up or shut up" I know this sounds crazy on a spiritual blog, but it's the truth. I have been whining about my situation in my personal and professional life for a few years. However, I have been going in circles this whole time. I knew the answer to my problem. It came to me after many a prayer. Change my thinking, change my attitude, but most of all change my actions. No matter how much my thinking changed, nothing else changed without my action.
I have made out many lists with my goals and my plan as to how to reach that goal. I have prayed, meditated, cried, pleaded, screamed, and agonized over how to improve my life, how to love my kids more, how to get my husband to love me like he used to, how to get closer to God. The one thing that I have put off, until now, is to TAKE ACTION. All of the good thoughts in the world won't help without putting in the effort to make it happen.
Four days and counting. My laundry is slowly catching up. My dining room is clean and we can use the table. My kitchen is a work in progress. My living room is clean as are the kids rooms. My bedroom is also a work in progress. Today I will tackle the remaining two rooms and my van. Clutter breeds chaos and stress and (in my case) anger. No more. It takes 21 days to make a habit. So I'm making new habits everyday.
Praise God that He has never left me. He has never given up on me. Even when I gave up on myself, even as I have hated myself. God never gave up. He was there to hold me and comfort me and to lead me through the darkness. He has been the one to prod me into action through one thing or another. I get it now. I understand that I have deep responsibilities to my children, my husband, to myself and to Him. He won't give me more then I can handle so I need to choke it up and "handle" it. And to quote someone else "I just wish He didn't trust me so much"
So if you're stuck on the treadmill and feel destined to repeat yourself just remember that the definition of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results' I have been stuck in insanity for WAY too long. I hope that my post will help you out of yours.