Put It In His Hands

I've been fighting this for so long, I'm not sure it's real. I've been fighting the housewife/homemaker thing. Don't ask why. It's a long, sordid story that just shows that I still have issues with my parents. But two weekends ago my husband threatened to leave if I didn't do something with our pigsty of a house. I guess that was my wake up call. See, he said he'd take the kids with him.

So after many tears and prayers I bit the bullet and I have been plowing through the clutter and the dirt. It's still not great but it is a drastic improvement. And my husband even noticed. He helped clean up the kitchen one night last weekend and then tonight he told me that the house looked nice.

I've even been cooking more and spending more time with my kids. Which I might add that my kids have been helping out more now that they see mom doing more. The one thing that I'm having to struggle to keep up with is my writing, but I am pressing on.

So I will put it in HIS hands. Each day I will start anew and put it in HIS hands. It is no longer my burden. I will do what is required of me and I pray Lord that you will give me enough hours in the day to accomplish those tasks. In Jesus name, Amen

Do you talk to God?

The other day I was out walking on a nature trail, talking to God, telling Him how beautiful the birds and the trees and flowers are. Just inhaling the serenity of my surroundings.(This doesn't happen often so I was absorbing as much as I could.)

I glanced over to my right and a tree caught my eye. It just jumped out at me. The tree was straight at the trunk and about a fourth of the way up it begin to curve to the left then around to the right and straight up again. The tree was as tall as the others, it simply had a big curve near the bottom of it.

Have you ever seen a tree like that? One that has grown around power lines? Or one that was curved this way and that? I would like to think you had. If not then keep a look out because they appear everywhere. I digress.

When I spotted this tree on my walk, God spoke to me. (No I'm not crazy) He explained that a tree will grow straight up but sometimes there is an obstacle in its way or sometimes it gets trimmed back by outside forces (in the case of the power lines). Does the tree continue to grow in the direction of the obstacle or the direction? No. It grows around it towards the sun. And then He whispered, "That's what you must do. You must grow around your obstacles. It will not be easy and it may hurt but you will find your way and you will stand stronger than the short, growth stunted person that you were."

All I can say is WOW. Here I was just walking along, communing with God, and He throws this life changing message my way. Have you talked to God lately? Not a formal prayer but more like a phone conversation between two friends. Perhaps all you do is pray and you forget to wait quietly for the answer. Take a moment and listen. It just may change your life.

Proverbs 22

Lord, help me to live this day with the wisdom I have learned and open my heart to what you have to teach me. In your name I pray, Amen

Proverbs 22:6,9,15,17,29

God has been teaching us all about collecting His wisdom and now He says "Go out and use it" He wants us to train our children and teach them wisdom. If we are generous with others then we, in turn, will be blessed. We should apply our hearts to the wisdom we have learned. If we excel at our work then we will be greatly blessed and be led to stand before kings.
Did you catch that? It applies to Proverbs 21. If we do our work and do it as best we can, strive for excellence, then we will STAND BEFORE KINGS. Pretty neat,huh?
So off I go to work on my excellence in my housework. I pray that you will find peace and understanding for your soul.

Proverbs 19

Lord, I come to you humble and alone. Even though my family is large, I have distanced myself from them. I ask for your guidance and instruction as I read your word. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

Proverbs 19:1 "Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool."
This is something that I noticed in the last few chapters. God is really pressing the issue of integrity upon me. I must become a woman of integrity before I can move forward.

Proverbs 19:11 "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression."
We have a choice. We can make the choice to become angry or to remain calm.

Proverbs 19:15 "Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, And an idle person will suffer hunger."
Have you ever noticed how the less you move the more tired you feel? That's me. The longer I sit the more tired and listless I feel. As for being idle and hungry, does the term couch potato ring a bell? How many of these truths do we already know but we refuse to acknowledge?

Pray to the Lord for guidance and he will show you a multitude of things. Remember that those without wisdom are the ones who are quick to anger and who are ready to constantly put people down and belittle them. I am just as guilty as the next person. But I don't want to be that person any more and now I have the knowledge staring me in the face so I can no longer play dumb.

Proverbs 15

Lord, Help me to be the woman you want me to be. Teach me the way that I need to change. I open my heart, my mind, and my soul to you. I want to become moldable and teachable so that I may change and therefore create change in the life that I lead. In Your Name I Pray, Amen

Proverbs 15:1-2 "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh tongue stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness."

My take: Speaking in soft tones (not yelling) and choosing your words(not just speaking in anger) will help to keep the situation calm and help us to effectively communicate with others. If we yell and scream and say whatever we feel like then the person or persons that we're yelling at will only become angry with us and nothing gets solved.

Proverbs 15:4 "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life. But perverseness in it breaks the spirit."
Proverbs 15:12-13 "A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, Nor will he go to the wise. A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness."

My take: If we speak with kindness, wisdom and a content heart then people will actually seek out our guidance. If we are rude, nasty and make judgemental or foolish comments then people will not want to be around us.

Proverbs 15:18 "A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention."
Proverbs 15:28 "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil."

My take: Someone (like me right now) who gets angry easily and then starts yelling and screaming like a crazy person only creates more anger and confusion and resentment. But those who have patience (like I am striving for right now) and chooses their words carefully will not only live in a more peaceful atmosphere, but they will be a leader for those around them.

These scriptures have been speaking to me a great deal. One of my biggest obstacles is my anger and temper. Once I can control that, then other aspects of my life will be a great deal easier.

Praise

Before I begin my normal Proverbs entry I would like to take the time to give God praise. I don't remember what prompted me to start this blog. I believe it was simply a feeling that if I were to blog my spiritual journey that perhaps I would be more diligent.

Then the book of Proverbs came to mind. I am sure that it was God inspired just as it was a few years ago when the lady told me to read it. However I'm slow and wasn't really ready to accept the things God had to tell me until now.

Now for the praise. Since I began studying Proverbs and putting it more into action, my life has been changing. Slowly, but noticeably. I am having more success in my career, a closer relationship with my kids and my marriage is getting better. It's not hugh dramatic changes, but my husband actually asked me out on a date last Friday. He hasn't done that in almost a year. And he's starting to be more affectionate (hand holding, hugging).

I just wanted to praise God and thank Him for all the blessings He is already bringing into my life and I am looking forward to a much more fulfilled and happy life as I grow closer to Him.

Lord, I praise you and thank you for never moving. I thank you for all the beautiful things in my life. Thank you for never leaving me and though I ran far away you were there to take me back. In Your Name I Pray, Amen

Proverbs 11

Lord, I come to you in humble obedience. I know that I am far from perfect. I know that as I grow closer to you I will stumble and fall and I must remember to look to you to help me up. Or to help me realize I'm okay and that I am stronger than I think I am when you are with me. In Your Name I Pray, Amen

I could not pick just one verse to help understand this Proverb. There were many that spoke to me in many different ways. So here are the ones that stood out more than the others. I find the same recurring voice that wisdom is to be sought after in order to have a fulfilling life.

Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes,then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom"
My take: do not be boastful with nothing to back it up. Remain quiet until you can speak with wisdom, however do not speak to impress, simply speak to share your wisdom with others.


Proverbs 11:12 "He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor, But a man of understanding holds his peace"
My take: If you have wisdom then you know how to control your anger and hate and you do not have to vent them as you would if you are ignorant.

Proverbs 11:17 "The merciful man does good for his own soul, But he who is cruel troubles his own flesh."
My take: if you are merciful and compassionate then you will have peace down to your soul. If you are mean and hateful then you will be troubled not only in your mind, but anger and such can affect you physically.

Proverbs 11:22 "As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion."
My take: the ring may be made of gold and may be beautiful, but it's still attached to a nasty pig, so a woman may be beautiful but if she had a loose mouth or loose habits then she is just as ugly as the pig.

I have a problem with many of these things. Especially the anger. These words speak straight to my heart, reminding me that no matter your outside, if your inside is ugly then you will be also. I have been so obsessed with trying to get my outside to look better that I have forgotten that what I really need to do is make my soul more beautiful. When my soul is beautiful then the outside will become so.

Busy, busy

I confess I didn't get around to my Bible study today so here's a prayer that's been on my heart.

Lord, I come to you in my hour of need. I thank you for my many blessings and I ask that you help to lengthen my day where it is needed. I know that the actual time will not increase, however I ask that you give me a spirit of peace and not of anxiety. Help me to realize what needs to be done versus what I want to get done. Open my heart and mind so that I my hear your voice through out the day and that I may be receptive to your guidance. I pray that I will not be idle and also that I shall not be rushed.
I know that as I ask these things of you you are already touching my very soul to prepare it for the tasks that lay ahead of me. Thank you for knowing what I need and when I need it. Thank you for helping me to remember that even when we are rushed we must take a few moments to talk to you and ask for your help in our daily lives.
In Your Name I Pray, Amen

Proverbs 10

Lord, Thank you for the opportunity to serve you and for the wisdom that you have bestowed upon me lately. I eagerly await your voice speaking to my heart. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins."
Proverbs 10:17 "He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, But he who refuses correction goes astray."

What I have taken from this chapter is that wisdom and knowledge will bring you life and prosperity. Being hateful and mean will only cause death and destruction. Staying calm, using kindness and speaking in love will go a long way to help keep life peaceful and keep those around you feeling loved and wanted.I have a lot of work to do in order to keep my mouth in check. I often, really often let anger control my words. It is a horrible thing. Using my new found wisdom I hope to pay better attention to what I am going to say when I get mad. I guess I'll go back to my other saying "Stop. Breath. Think." As in think before I speak.

Proverbs 8

Lord, Give me a clean heart, a pure mind, and a willing spirit. May I hear your voice above all others. I praise your holy name with all that I am. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

Proverbs 8: 9-11 "They are all plain to him who understands, And right to those who find knowledge. Receive my instruction, and not silver, And knowledge rather than choice gold; For wisdom is better than rubied, And all the tings one may desire cannot be compared with her."

If you search for wisdom, you will find it. If you search your heart and your soul and you really look into yourself,look into the place where you and God meet, then you will know which direction that wisdom will lead you. Wisdom has been here from the beginning of time. With wisdom comes love and rewards. If you choose wisdom over sliver and gold then the silver and gold will come to you in greater amounts than if you had chosen the silver and gold to start with.

Proverbs 7

Lord, I come to you in search of wisdom and love.I pray for an open heart, an open mind and an open spirit. I want to open myself to you and be receptive to your words and your will. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

Proverbs 7:25-27 "So not let your heart turn aside to her ways, So not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death."

I have taken this two ways. One is literal, in that it is best to educate our children in sexual matters. You cannot escape the dangers of adultery. You must guard your heart and mind from those that would seek to lure you away from your spouse.

The second way I read this is to say that we must guard ourselves against any temptation. Sex, food, money, etc. can be our downfall. Whatever becomes our obsession and takes us away from our families and from our spiritual relationship from God. We must also educate our children on the dangers and lures of different temptation.

Proverbs 6

Lord, Give me a heart to receive your instruction and to understand your wisdom. In Your Name I Pray, Amen

Proverbs 6:16-19
"These six things the Lord hates,Yes, seven are an abomination to Him; A proud look, a lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren."

How many of us are guilty of any of these things? Raise your hands. Come on, you in the back too. We've all done one of these at one time or another. You've lied about how late you stayed out the night before or how much money you spent at the store the other day. How about being a Sunday Christian? Does your life show what you believe or do you just talk a good talk? I can talk about spirituality all day, but putting it into practice is a constant struggle. I must ask for help not only daily but sometimes hourly.

What I took away from Proverbs 6 as a whole was this: Your word is your bond, do not make a statement that you cannot follow through with. Laziness and idleness and failure to work show that you do not have God's wisdom and such lack of action will lead to poverty. In order to tell the character of a person, watch how they hold themselves, watch their body language. In the same respect, we must watch our own body language because it speaks volumes as to what type of person we are.

God hates anything that will hurt others, so before you speak or act think about how the other person will feel or react to your actions/words. Think of where they are coming from, why they might have said or did what they did, then react.

We cannot always control our environment, but we can control how we react to things. So the next time your three year old is spilling milk in the floor or raiding the refrigerator, don't yell, ask yourself why. Were you 'too busy' to get the little one something to drink? Are you 'busy' and it's lunch time? Was he/she just trying to help?

I think the best advice I have gotten about getting angry or frustrated came from the kids show "Blues Clues". They tell you to "Stop. Breath(take a deep breath). and Think." Now I don't always follow this thinking. Some days I don't follow it at all. But I believe it's something we should all strive for. Sometimes when I take my deep breath I say a little prayer "Lord help me through this". It's not muttered like a curse word, it's a heartfelt prayer. Amazingly I feel much more peaceful when I do say it.

Proverbs 5

Lord, Open my heart and my mind. Help me to praise you and accept your guidance. I pray that I can keep your wisdom with me at all times. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

Proverbs 5: 1-2
"My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, That you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep knowledge."

This whole Proverb is about resisting temptation. Keep your eyes and ears on God, do not give into temptation. The other man or lady may look attractive but they are someone you really don't know well and they will lead to your downfall. The other life may look better to you, as in being single instead of toughing it out in your marriage. It too will lead to your downfall. The grass always looks greener on the other side but it is an illusion. Because when you reach the other side, the side you started on will look greener. Stay the course with your family and lean on God's instruction. He will help us to tend the fields we live in and to nourish them so that our fields will be greener than any possible temptation around us.

I confess that there are times when I want to run away from my life. To leave everyone and everything I know behind. And then I realize that what I really want is a happier, more peaceful life with those I love. I can't get that by running away. I can only get that through hard work and through change. Changing me into a more peaceful and loving person so that those around me will become the same. Whatever spirit we send out is what is reflected to us. So if we send out anger and discourse then that is all that we will know. If we send out love, patience and kindness then we will receive it ten fold.

Proverbs 3

Lord, I come to you with an open heart and an open mind. Fill them with your word, your spirit and your peace. In Your Name I Pray, Amen

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."

Do not be troubled in your heart. Listen to the Lord and He will guide us. Honor and trust in God and He will provide for our peace of mind. Keep mercy and truth in your heart. What came to mind when I read this Proverb was the old saying "Do as I say and not as I do". I had the epiphany that children almost never do what we say but they almost always do as we do.

Perhaps it's time for us to grow up. How do we want our children to act? Do we want them to be honest, trustworthy, kind, considerate, giving, humble? Now is the time for us to emulate those things. I want my children to be honest, trustworthy and compassionate. There are other things I want for my kids. So I plan on going through the qualities I want to instill in them and then start to examine my behavior as to how I can change and become the kind of person I want them to be along with the type of person I would like to be.

Again, to live by wisdom and knowledge, not by emotion.

Welcome to my world

I have been stumbling my way through motherhood for the better part of ten years. What I first loved has now become a chore. I actually wake up thinking how many hours until bed time. How sad is that? Part of me wants to embrace motherhood to my four little ones, throw myself into cooking, cleaning, crafting, playing, teaching and all the other things that go with it. The other part of me, the one I've allowed to gain way to much control over me, just wants to run away screaming.
I discovered that no matter how many times I plan and promise and vow to change, it doesn't happen. In that discovery I noticed that my spirit is in constant turmoil. God wouldn't have given me these children without a reason and a purpose and the more I fight that the more miserable my whole family will be and the more screwed up my kids will be.
So this is me, trying to find my way back to my spirituality and my family.
I met a woman once who had five kids and at any one time could have up to ten kids as she was a foster mother over and above her five biological children. I was pregnant with my fourth and already feeling crazy. I asked her how she managed it all. She said with a lot of help from God. At some point during the conversation she recommended I read the Proverbs, one per day and meditate on them. I started once, but I wasn't accountable and fell behind. So I will try again. Beyond that we'll see where the journey leads.
This is for all the women suffering in silence, feeling like horrid mothers because you scream at your kids or you sometimes let the curse words fly when we know we shouldn't. For those that are sometimes quick to spank when you know you should calm down before doing so, for those who want to break down in the grocery store when your kids just won't be quiet. Or when you're trying to type on the computer and the toddler wants to help you type. This blog is for you. This is your quiet spot. Thank you for reading.